Antony's Birthday
"Ive had my cataracts done and if you'd come two weeks ago, I wouldn't have been able to see you"






28th October 1999

Written By:

Caroline Aherne, Craig Cash, Carmel Morgan

Antony's Birthday is the fifth episode of series two of The Royle Family


In the Royle household, Jim is watching the telly while Barbara is rushing round getting everything ready for the party. The doorbell rings and Twiggy comes in and gives Barbara the ring for Antony's birthday to wrap up. Barbara asks him whether he is going to change but he refuses to. They are then made to blow up the balloons and make particular body parts out of them. The doorbell rings again and Darren arrives and is questioned by Jim about his next court case. The doorbell rings again and Jim quotes that "he never gets a minute to himself" and Denise, Dave and Norma arrive and Jim uses a balloon as a cigar. Barbara questions Darren on his mum while she puts up the banner unaided while everyone else watches the telly.

The doorbell rings once more and Antony finally arrives with Emma and everyone admires her while they sing Happy Birthday to Antony and Barbara introduces her to everyone. Jim then hands Antony his ring and he unwraps it and he and Darren start to admire it and he puts it on and quote one of their modern phrases which confuses Norma. They then find out that Emma is a Vegetarian and Nana keeps questioning her on whether she can have cheese or wafer thin ham.

Denise then starts to notice a funny smell and after originally criticising Jim, they work out that it is Dave and he apologises to Emma before Barbara takes it and washes it off in the sink. Mary, Cheryl and Joe arrive but he is unusually cheerful and Mary tells Barbara that he is drunk.

Back in the living room, everyone is gathered around the buffet and Antony admires his latest present while Joe tells a reluctant Darren about seeing an old friend at the bowling party and Mary meets Emma. Jim then sudddenly appears with his Banjo and Norma references that it scared her. They then all gather round for Jim and Antony's speech and Jim plays a song on the banjo ("My Grandad's Flannelette Nightshirt") Followed by Joe singing "I'll Take You Home Again Kathleen" causing Norma to cry because her husband used to sing it to her and this is finished off by a remark from Darren that he can still smell poo in the room.